Thursday, June 24, 2010

Shuttered Bars & Clubs From The 90s

•GrooveZone (McAllister & Divis) - closed 1993
•WerdUp (6th & Townsend) - closed 1998
•CrazePad (3rd & 23rd) - closed 1999
•The Driveway (Levenworth & Bush) - closed 1992
•Zap! (Bryant & 21st) - closed 1995
•RaveCave (15th & Potrero, above British Grocery) - closed 1997
•The Bailout (55 Boardman Pl @ Bryant) - closed 1996
•Loco Lounge (5th & Berry) - closed 1994
•Egypt Egypt (Columbus & Washington) - closed 1992
•ChunnelTop (18th & Arkansas) - closed 1994

Brainslip's Guide to Male Street Fashion

These days if you look like a chump you're gonna be treated like one. Tucked in shirts, loafers, briefcases - all signs to folks on the streets. Signs to beat you up and take your money.

The streets are tough - lean back a little too far, and someone's likely gonna take it as an invite to knock you over and take your money.

Walk around wearing tight ass jeans and the circulation to your head is gonna get cut off. Someone's gonna take this as an invite to give you the old street noose. You'll be waking up in the emergency room. Where's your wallet, you might ask? They took it.

Hair is protection from street thugs and huslers. Wear it short and you might as well just ask for a good beating. Walk around hatless and you walk around practically asking to be scalped. Rule number one of the streets: keep it out in the open and it will be destroyed or stolen, including your blood. Everything has a value on the streets. If you're not protecting it, someone will gladly take that prized possession off your hands.

Before you walk out of the house, think again, and remember this list of looks to keep you from trippin up.

Street smart hairdos:
ponytails, goatees, sideburns, dreadlocks, long in the back mullets, sk8r cuts

Street smart coats:
dark trenchcoats, baggy sport team jackets, army coats

Street smart lids:
fedora, kangol, newsboy, porkpie, sports caps

Street smart accessories:
skull jewelry, big chains, metal rings, bonewear

Street smart pants:
pants with multiple utility loops, widelegs, pants with chains, leather, track, army

-Brainslip Street Cru

Wednesday, June 23, 2010

People Who Wear Jurassic Park Sweatshirts

Michael Crichton fans
The homeless
People who had a role producing or acting in the 1993 film
People who have not shopped since 1993
Dinosaur enthusiasts
Slot machine players
People who work at "Jurassic Park: The Ride" during the winter
People who work in the biotech industry who have a Second Life
Toddlers wearing hand-me-downs
People who have no idea what the shirt means
People at the laundry mat
Those in a vegetative state
"Zany" frat dudes going to a 90s party
Jurassic Park Game Boy game programmers

Thursday, June 17, 2010

What Anthony Kiedis Is Giving Away Right Now

Old tattered shoes
Unopened mint rice pudding cups
Some old mix tapes with unreadable labels
Extra copies of failed autobiography from 1989
Dull disposable razors
Cubic yard of clean dirt from backyard
Old pair of driving gloves
Mild case of herpes

Tuesday, June 8, 2010


walkin like a freak
talkin like a freak
smellin like a freak
actin a freak
dressin like a freak

smilin like a freak
singin like a freak
laughin like a freak
thinkin like a freak
stinkin like a freak

winkin like a freak
standin like a freak
stretchin like a freak
scratchin like a freak
nappin like a freak

Wednesday, June 2, 2010

Bro's Guide to the Mish

Yo Bros check out this new hip neighborhood, they've got it all - Mexicans, art, cheap brews, parks, bikes, and babes. It's called the Mission, aka the Mish, dummy. You never heard? Well here's the scoop:

Yo man, this place has no lines if you need to take a wiz. Plus, there's like 50 cold brews on tap. Chill vibe and cool peeps. Dope ass grub if you're growling. Don't forget to tip your bartenders!

Best burrito in the city. Period.

Classic joint with old time feel. Brings you back to the good old Mad Men days. Know what I mean, bro?

Baby Blues
Yo dude, remember that spring break in NOLA? This shit brings me back. Nuff said.

Crazy strong margs and the waitresses are hotties with rad back tats.

Babes here are way easy and dumb. Not even a challenge but whatevs.

Dude, sit down for this one. It's a fucking rooftop bar with kick ass views of downtown. What more do you want, bro? Bonus points if you spew off the roof on hipsters.