Friday, July 30, 2010

Prison Poetry Series Volume 3: Watching TV and Eating Potato Chips


When the day is done and I need a break
I sit on my couch and watch The Amazing Race

I watch all night, til the news comes on
Eat all my potato chips, even the last one

Are You Smarter Than A 5th Grader? that was nice
I always knew the answers because I was in that grade twice

Deal Or No Deal, that was fine
I was sad when it went off primetime

Prison Poetry Series Volume 2: Hamburgers and Hot Dogs


Hamburgers and hotdogs both satisfy
I like both, I can't deny

Put ketchup all over, I don't care
Make a big mess, everywhere

Put them in buns and chomp away
The perfect thing in the middle of the day

Hamburgers and hotdogs are the best
They always pass my test

Prison Poetry Series Volume 1: Cats and Rats


A cat will eat a rat
A cat is good if you don't have a baseball bat

A cat will lie on a mat
A rat will hide in your hat

Catch a rat with a trap
Call a cat with a clap

A cat is always taking a nap
A rat is always taking your snack

Friday, July 23, 2010

Ice Cube's Favorite Ice T Songs (And Vice Versa)

Ice Cube's Favorite Ice T Song
Black 'N' Decker
Girls L.G.B.N.A.F.
Our Most Requested Record
The Iceberg
Watch The Ice Break
Ice M.F. T
Make the Loot Loop
Syndicate 4 Ever

Ice T's Favorite Ice Cube Songs
Who Got the Camera?
Fuck 'Em (Insert)
I Wanna Kill Sam
What They Hittin' Foe
Black Korea
Doing Dumb Shit
No Vaseline
The Nigga Ya Love to Hate
Now I Gotta Wet 'Cha

Tuesday, July 13, 2010

The Minipack

Contents of minipacks:

Cassette player
Loose keys
Jolly ranchers
Polaroid photos
Soiled toothbrush
Wad of napkins
Broken shoelace
Expired coupons
Lucky Charms (in Ziploc baggie)
Lucky charms (various metal, wood & stone objects)
Movie ticket stubs

Nodes: A Science for the New Era

Nodes. They rule the world, the mind, the body, and everything around us. Think about it, where did you start your day? A node. Where did you meet your friend? A node. Where did you drop off your mail? A node. Where did you get your unleaded gasoline? A node. If it isn't clear from these simple examples, it probably never will be and Nodes may just not be for you. Nodes - the science of possibility, of precision, and of presupposition. To know of Nodes is to know yourself. To know of Nodes is to know the infinite. To learn more about Nodes please call 1-866-232-1182.

Thursday, July 1, 2010

Now That Heavy D Has Found Love What Is He Gonna Do?

•eat an ice cream sundae
•stop drinking so much
•buy a bigger car
•consider purchasing a detached single family home
•compare cable tv promotions
•probably not really hang out with his good friends so much anymore
•learn to accept paying corkage fees
•begin clearing browser search history unconsciously
•tivo shit he don't even watch but it ain't no thang
•finally get to take that mutha fuckin jimmy cap off

2011: The Year Hip Hop Went Abuzz Over Bees

Not since the Wu Tang Clan "Killa Beez" phenom of the early 90s has Hip Hop seen such a marked awareness of the beauty of the bee. Is it the allure of the dance? The sweet taste of the honey? The paranoia of an African killer bee infestation? Whatever the cause, someone let the bees out. The hive hath definitely burst asunder.

New Up and Coming Artists Who'll Bee Swarmin Atcha in Tha One One:
Tha Droppa
Tha Dippa
Tha Stinga
Lil Honey Dabba
Westside Apiary Connection
Honey Comba
Swarma Kru
Yello Jackaz

Big Puns

I'm not a pizza I just crust a lot
I'm not a playa I just bush a lot
I'm not a sailor I just lush a lot
I'm not a prayer I just hush a lot