Wednesday, February 23, 2011
image courtesy Mike Reddy
Continuing the series of arbitrary city rankings, Brainslip is proud to present to you...
CITIES PART IV: Dungeons & Daltons
CITIES WITH A HIGH PERCENT OF THE POPULATION LOCKED IN BASEMENT DUNGEONS AGAINST THEIR WILL
St Louis: 3%
El Paso: 1%
Oklahoma City: 5%
CITIES WITH HIGH RATES OF TOOTHLESSNESS
Cedar Rapids: 1.5%
St. Petersburg: 1%
Las Vegas: 2%
CITIES WHERE PATRICK SWAYZE MAY ACTUALLY BE HIDING OUT INSTEAD OF BEING DEAD
Tuesday, February 8, 2011
Monday, February 7, 2011
Wednesday, February 2, 2011
Nearly all toss without thinking. The hair toss creates distraction, drawing attention to the tosser in the subtlest of manners. On whose behalf is the tossing done? Tosser or tossee?
The tangler is a worrier, with a multitude of unresolved issues. All daytime knots are usually untangled during sleep.
The toucher is a tactile being, drawn to surfaces of every type. What is the toucher looking for? Oil? Dryness? Curves? Spikes? Cowlicks? The atrophy of symmetry? Proof of perfection?
Combination of touchers and tanglers, the teaser category strives for volume. A fluffer of all sorts, the teaser makes that which contains little appear to overflow with substance. A teaser knows what they want and knows how to get it.
Half taste when no one's looking, the other half don't even know they are tasting. Nineteenth century analysts believed the root cause to be vitamin deficiency, however this has been disproved as of recent.
Scalp tappers and lock tappers are one and the same. The thrill of the vibration keeps their sinuous-seeking senses alive. A skilled tapper can cause a tug with one hand. A typical tapper is well versed in the history of all forms of Jazz music.
Another hybrid category. A mesh of touchers, tappers, and tossers. The tickler is the ultimate public masturbator, constantly bored in the company of others. One quick tickle is never enough. It is not uncommon for a neck or shoulder tickle session to last upwards of 90 minutes. Hair lock ends are usually rounded to nub-like features on the strand scale.