Sunday, July 31, 2011

Michael and Me













I remember Michael and I miss him dearly. We had some amazing times at the Ranch. I was driving to Gelson's today and got thinking about one afternoon up there. It was a hot day and we decided to go horseback riding. We froze our Ssips juiceboxes so they'd still be cold when it was time to drink them. Michael let me borrow some shorts because my parents refused to let me wear shorts out of the house. A half hour into the ride we stopped for a minute. Michael saw some acorns and just had to stop and collect them. I snacked on my Triscuits and waited patiently. A noisy jet was overhead and I was following him with my binoculars. All of the sudden I heard a scream and turned around. Michael was on the ground. His leg was swelling up. It looked like 1,000 bees stung him. Michael never told me he was allergic to bees. McCauley, get the epinephrine from the saddle, he shouted. I ran over and found the shot and began to pull Michael's pants down. No, not in the butt, in the thigh, dummy, Michael yipped. I shoved the needle in him and he let out a sigh of relief. Man, what a crazy day. Goodbye Michael, I miss you so fucking much.

-M.C.

Ghetto Vampire

Learned about this guy researching public housing vampire folklore.




Wednesday, April 6, 2011

People On The Phone Right Now With Their Best Friend Talking Anout How Good Last Night's Whoopee Was





















Recent studies have shown that whoopee is still significant in the lexicon of today. In fact, a buncha folks just made sweet whoopee last night. Who are they? These people:


Lisa Marie Presley
Eddie Murphy
Bill Clinton
Roseanne
Billy Bob Thornton
Whoopi Goldberg
Kirstie Alley
Tyra Banks

Friday, March 18, 2011

2007 In Review: Tha Official Page Of Tha Fly Native $ly $inna

"Tha Official Page Of Tha Fly Native $ly $inna"
http://www.myspace.com/slysinna
























"Nigga Please"
http://www.myspace.com/spoogelobber

























"RU Serious"
http://www.myspace.com/brinkadelic




















"BREED THA LOCUS!!"
http://www.myspace.com/breedthalocust






























"YUNG SNAP HOE!"
http://www.myspace.com/djsnap970





























"Bee-Diamin aka Da Bee Stang"
http://www.myspace.com/blackdiamin07

Wednesday, February 23, 2011

Dungeons & Daltons





















image courtesy Mike Reddy


Continuing the series of arbitrary city rankings, Brainslip is proud to present to you...

CITIES PART IV: Dungeons & Daltons



CITIES WITH A HIGH PERCENT OF THE POPULATION LOCKED IN BASEMENT DUNGEONS AGAINST THEIR WILL
Indianapolis: 2%
St Louis: 3%
Jacksonville: 4%
Columbus: 2%
El Paso: 1%
Oklahoma City: 5%
Fresno: 3%
Tulsa: 1%
Riverside: 0.5%
Tempe: 2%


CITIES WITH HIGH RATES OF TOOTHLESSNESS
Boulder: 3.5%
Lansing: 2%
Cedar Rapids: 1.5%
St. Petersburg: 1%
Las Vegas: 2%
Knoxville: 4%
Winston-Salem: 3%
Reno: 3%


CITIES WHERE PATRICK SWAYZE MAY ACTUALLY BE HIDING OUT INSTEAD OF BEING DEAD
Colorado Springs
Anchorage
Wichita
Akron
Spokane
Oxnard
Tallahassee
Fort Lauderdale

Tuesday, February 8, 2011

God's Name in Scifi Movies
















God's Name in Scifi Movies


T'on
Kroe
Fjorn
EeeE
Qxxot
Siile
Worlor
Elkar
Pelqwo
Sarn
Tlalb
Zuuoa
Kaia
Manaro
Shee'n
Or'nor
Borqk
Ch'zar

Monday, February 7, 2011

Mmm K?
















Mmm K?


Krunch
Kost
Krispy
Kool
Kramps
Krackle
Korner
Kar
Kanker
Krime
Krave
Kanon
Kozy